On Monday at our adoptive parents support group, our leader gave each of us a copy of this poem. As one Dad read it, the room was silent. We all have felt this way.
What I Didn't Know
I did NOT know that I wouldn't bond the minute I laid eyes on them.
I did NOT know that it would take so darn long to put this many kids to bed.
I did NOT know that some American kids could have ever not had a doughnut.
I did NOT know that I would so resent the best intentions of my friends who have no clue what is going on in my house.
I did NOT know that my other children would accept them before I did.
I did NOT know that I would be so aggravated about giving up my private time.
I did NOT know that a small child could consume so much fruit.
I did NOT know that I would never get the chance to be intimate with their bodies at his age. I wouldn't know each little toe like it was my own.
I did NOT know that I would be so afraid of them.
I did NOT know that I would be angry at my husband because he is
not afraid of them.
I did NOT know that social workers could take them away, but if I wanted to give them back that's a whole different story
I did NOT know that I was crazy not to meet them first.
I did NOT know that I would feel so responsible for them.
I did NOT know that they wouldn't know how to live with a dog.
I did NOT know that I would have to teach the House Rules long after I had actually forgotten what those rules were.
I did NOT know how much all this would cost.
I did NOT know how much people would stare at his disabilities.
I did NOT know that it would be so much trouble to get them enrolled in school.
I did NOT know that social workers leave out crucial details.
I did NOT know that I would doubt myself so much, especially in the middle of the night.
I did NOT know they would be so happy with us.
-Trina, adoptive mother of three