The past few days since our post, we have felt so much love and support. Your calls and emails have given us strength and so much encouragement. We know that those of you who we have heard from are our loyal supporters and you have our backs. We are so blessed to have you in our lives.
Over the weekend it was still going rough and Naomi was acting out and trying to hit Darrick too. Our Washington State Department of Social and Health Services has an amazing website where you can actually take online courses. I took the 1 hour class on Physically Aggressive Youth. Boy, did I learn a lot. I felt like I was gaining insight to what was going on.
Monday we had our family counseling and we spent a lot of time going over what happened on Friday. Then Monday night we started a 6 week parents support group at Bethany. The parents meet in one room and the kids in another. Our class was about Trauma and how it effects the brain. In case you don't know...when a person experiences Trauma it actually changes the way the brain works. It skips the thinking part of the brain and goes straight to survival mode and fight. After that when that person experiences a "Trigger" something that reminds the person of what happened, they go straight back to the survival mode and fight.
Somethings we do know is that our daughter has experienced severe trauma and neglect. During the parent class we started to put it all together. Naomi's triggers seem to be being secluded and restraining situations. For example: her bedroom at night with the door closed and seats with straps.
Light Bulb Moment! We will never know for sure but it appears that she was often put some where for long periods of time where she could not get out. A crib, cage, closet...only God knows...
Once we put two and two together, it all made sense. We very strongly believe that when you know better, you do better! I was able to talk to Naomi about feeling safe. We are now leaving her bedroom door open at sleeping times and her screaming at bedtime has completely stopped! She said she likes the door open because there are no bad guys. I asked what the bad guys use to do to her and she said, "They put me in jail". It was at that moment that my heart broke for her. God, why did this happen to her?
But the awesome thing is that God is healing her! The good thing about trauma, if there is one, is that the brain can be taught new ways of handling situations and change the patterns! Praise God!
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5 comments:
Wow, Jenn. I'm so glad that God is revealing this to you two and that your children can witness and experience freedom and healing as a victorious process through all of this. Thanks for sharing. He will bring into light the hidden things of darkness!!
Praise God!
bless her sweet little heart. god can and will heal her. i am so glad that there are resources there to help you guys get through this. i miss you guys so very much. praying for all of you. love, jen.
Hey Jenn, hearing Naomi's response to leaving the door open (no bad guys) brings me back to Elijah's sleep issues. Don't know if any of the verses we use with our kids would be helpful for her too. (they are on our blog when Elijah says his prayers - video) We will continue to pray for wisdom and discernment for you both as parents, to understand each child uniquely! Love you!
Keep up the hard work. Many times God calls us to "Do Hard Things" and you are doing it with grace! Children with trauma are tough at times (trust me, many nights at work I feel I don't get paid enough) :) Throw into the equation not knowing all the pieces to the puzzle and it gets really tricky! Keep asking God for wisdom and insight. HE WILL give it to you. Glad to hear that you are all in counseling. You need a safe place to fall. We are praying with and for you!!!!
PS I see a lot of these behaviours in Mykah and know that she went through some similiar situations.
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