Picking up the pieces

My parents leaving today, hit us all harder then I thought it would. We have almost 5 weeks down without Darrick and I thought we were healing quite nicely but I think my parents leaving reopened the wound.

Out of nowhere I started crying when I had to say goodbye, and not just a few tears, but crying. I didn't want them to go...

Jacob and Naomi went right in the house after saying bye and started fighting and screaming. I was still crying and just wanted to crawl in my bed and hide. When Naomi and Jacob are having strong emotions, that they don't know how to deal with, they act out physically. During the course of the afternoon, Naomi spit on me, ripped a paper I was working on, Jacob scratched Naomi's arms and threw a cup at me and they both cried for Daddy.

After dinner I thought maybe it would help if I spent some one on one time with Jacob. I found some learning games and asked Micah to play them with Naomi. He did so great with her. Jake and I cuddled in my bed and read a book about a toad and talked about it and then we made up our own story. I think it really helped him.

At bedtime tonight Micah said, "Mom, can you ask Nana to come in and say goodnight to us?" He paused a minute (I think remembering they were gone) and started bawling. He said he didn't want them to go and asked if they were coming back next week. He said he felt safer when Daddy or Papa and Nana were here. Then he cried about Daddy.

Man, I am drained tonight.

Then to top it all off, Oliver has been sick all day. He woke up this morning limping on his paw. He slept almost all day. He didn't eat and he wouldn't drink water. But then around dinner he seemed a bit better and ate and drank and walked on his paw a bit. Hopefully that is nothing.

The battery in Darrick's van died. I'm trying to get ready to start homeschooling on Monday. We have a pet frog I need to catch flies for...I think I should just go to bed.