Last night Jacob and Naomi went to bed early, because they were fighting, which gave Micah and I some time to spend alone.
He had had a pretty emotional day-not much patience, a lot of frustration and crying. I normally read a chapter out of a book plus a Bible Story to the kids in the living room before bed every night. Right now we are reading Where the Red Fern Grows. But since 2 of them would be missing it we decided to read a different book about animal defenses together. During the reading he sat right next to me and even put his arm around my shoulder. My heart melted...
Then he asked if we could cuddle together for a bit on the couch. That was when the big question came. "Mom", he said, "Do you think that Daddy has changed since he has been gone?"
I definitely took a moment to answer. I asked him if he thinks that we have grown and changed while Daddy has been gone. He said yes. I tried to explain to him that growing and changing is a part of life. Such a big question from a 10 year old.
But if I am being honest, which I strive for, I am a bit nervous too. Darrick left in August and when he did he left a huge void in our lives. In order to survive and cope you have establish new routines and ways of doing things-that don't include Daddy. So where does that leave him when he comes home?
We have dealt with this many times and we have found that the best thing for Darrick to do is be an observer when he gets home. All families grow and change so our routines have changed, as well as our ways of doing things, the kids likes and dislikes, etc.
My life is so much richer when he is in it and I hate when I have to live without him. Tomorrow marks 10 more days! I am trying not to dwell on it because when I do I can't stop smiling or seem to get anything done. Last night I had a terrible time because I am so excited for him to come home!
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5 comments:
You are very wise to have made decisions about how to handle things at home-coming in advance. My husband and I didn't do that. I let him do things "his way" without complaining (or criticizing even though I wasn't always that thrilled about it) when he would return home, but it was hard to do when I thought I'd figured out a very efficient way to do the things that were "his jobs".
wow... you have an extraordinary young man in Micah... I guess it's to be expected with such a great mom...
My heart goes out to you for his mid-tour. I have been thinking about you a lot and wondered if he would do a mid-tour. I am so excited for you, but I know that this can also be a very difficult time. So you will be in my prayers.
I wish so badly we get super nanny over here!!!! I would loved to have seen it. I'll have to email you about how she handled the discipline. love you-Kelly
I worry that I have changed too. This is the craziest deployment I have ever been on and I have never been treated the way I have been treated here. I can't believe the things that have happened to us here and that nobody back in the States knows about what we go through because the media is so slanted and we can't say anything about it. I can't believe that people would treat people the way that we are treated. People don't even treat animals this way and if they did they would go to jail. Any way I hope to be fine and just enjoy my time away from this dark place but I have experienced feelings I have never felt before, feelings I did not necessarily like and wish I never experienced. Not sure why I wrote all this but I think I will leave it. I guess I wish people could know the truth. I really just wanted to say how excited I am to go home but I guess this is how I am really feeling right now, sorry.
No need for saying sorry, Darrick. God placed you there for a reason. I just wish we could shoulder some of the burden for you. Be strong.
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