Keeping it real

Today ranks as one of the top hardest days for me as a parent.

This afternoon we were scheduled to have our third and final home study visit. There were a couple of items that I needed to pick up, like outlet covers, before the social worker came.

The kids and I started out with a special treat of pancakes at Mc Donalds. Then we headed to the Goodwill and things were going great.

Our last and final stop was Walmart. We walked into the store and got our cart. I bent down to pick up Naomi and she went crazy. She kicked me, bit me, pulled my hair and clawed at my neck. It came out of no where. She screamed at me that she did not want to get in the cart. I was embarrassed, physically hurt and I wanted to cry. People were looking so I just pushed the cart with her next to it and walked to the optical dept. to buy some contacts. She seemed to settle down and so I thought I would try again.

Let me just take a moment to say that from the day we brought Naomi home shopping with her has been very difficult. It is very over stimulating for her and like sensory overload. The people, the noise, the lights, the enormity of the store it is all just too much. We have been working with our counselor on this and she has been helping us with techniques to try. She also wanders away from us in the store so she really needs to be in the cart.

So we walked out of optical and I told her that I was going to put her in the cart. She exploded again. She grabbed two fist fulls of my hair and pulled, and just started slapping me and kicking me. Then she screamed "I'm not going to be your daughter anymore!" That was it, I took her by the hand, with tears streaming because I could not hold them back anymore and we went to the car.

The boys were very upset seeing me get beat up and Micah was crying. Once I got her buckled in her car seat I just cried my heart out. She took off her shoes and threw them at my head.

I called Darrick. I was too upset to drive. He came and found us all sitting in the car in the Walmart parking lot. He hugged me and then said "She broke your necklace?" I had no idea. The chain was snapped, hanging around my neck and the diamond heart charm was gone.

Darrick and Micah went in to get the few things we needed and somehow my charm was on the ground by the carts. Micah spotted it and Darrick said he held on to it tight in his pocket while they shopped.

Once we all calmed down I talked to Naomi about why she did that and she said she was mad. After lunch and her nap, it was like nothing ever happened. She was hugging and kissing me and telling me that she loved me. I assured her that she is and will always be my daughter, no matter what she does.

But Darrick and I are left wondering, what in the world happened, and how can we prevent it from happening again?

Thankfully, our social worker called and said she was not feeling well and wanted to finish up our home study over the phone. It definitely crossed my mind "Am I crazy doing this again, and asking for siblings?"

But this is what I know:

• God is the great healer and He can and will heal Naomi


• Even though I don't like to think about it, Naomi experienced severe trauma before we adopted her


• God brought us together to be a family


• She is a child of God


• I love her so much and it hurts me to see her hurting


• What she says and what she does it not about me, it is about what happened to her in the past and it is her pain and hurt talking

You may think that what happened today is family business and too personal to share on our blog. But we believe otherwise. How else can others support us and pray for us, if we are not keeping it real?

So now we move on and love each other the most we can each day, pray and just let God work.

Happy Birthday Jacob!

Man, do we love this guy! Today is Jacob's 7th Birthday! He woke up to find this awesome Rescue Hero play set-can you believe we found it on Craig's List for $40.00!!! It is worth a few hundred dollars. The Rescue Hero Men were there wishing Jacob a Happy Birthday!

After a breakfast of chocolate and peanut butter pancakes it was time to open one more present from Dad and Mom and then a package from Papa and Nana!

After lots of playtime and his favorite lunch of Macaroni and Cheese it was Cake Time! This year he requested a red cake. My sister-in-law, Laura makes the most amazing Red Velvet Cake with Cream cheese Frosting so I got her recipe. It turned out awesome and Jake loved it!

Homestudy Visits 1 and 2

In the middle of our crazy week we also had our first two home study visits.

The first visit was last Friday. Carol came to our house and went over a bunch of stuff with us and gave us our secondary packet of paperwork. It was not a very long visit but it went really well.

So all week we worked on our paperwork. We each had a 12 page autobiography to fill out and this morning we each had our medical exams to make sure we are healthy.

Then today was our second home study visit. About an hour before Carol arrived we were helping the kids clean up their rooms. Micah was making his bed and then jumped down and sat on it and one of the major base boards cracked right in half. Darrick and I just looked at each other and thought, "This is perfect timing...now what?" Micah was crying about his bed...Darrick propped it up with a stool and we covered a crack with a blanket!

Today Carol had to talk with all the kids and their feelings about adoption and having another brother and sister. They all did really good. Then she toured our house and had to describe all the rooms. She went over all our paperwork with us. There are a few things we need to get done before our next visit and some that we had no idea we had to do:

• We have to get a locking box that we keep our medicine in
• We need to get waterproof mattress pads for the beds
• Put in more outlet covers
• have TB tests
• take a CPR/First Aid/Blood Safety Class

We have one more visit with her next week Friday and then she will write her report and submit it to the Li censer. Once we are approved and have our license we can be matched with a sibling group. She said it should take about 2 months! We were shocked at how fast that was and how soon we could meet our new children. She said that there are so many kids that need families that there is no reason to keep them waiting. There is such a need I just wish we could do more.

Our Crazy Week

This past week was a whirlwind for us!

It all started last Friday night with Jacob complaining of a terrible toothache. Now back in July we were vacationing at a beach house with my parents and Dave and Laura. Out of nowhere Jacob got a terrible toothache. We had to find a dentist and get him seen. The dentist gave him an antibiotic and it cleared up. No pain, until out the blue last Friday night.

Saturday morning we got him to the dentist right away and they said he had an abscessed tooth. It was an adult molar tooth that had a filling in it. They said sometime it happens and there is nothing we could of done to prevent it. The remedy: to remove it. Poor Jake, but he was so brave and they gave him laughing gas to relax him. He was happy when he got home because he got a balloon and two bouncy balls.

Tuesday night Darrick and the boys had Cadets, which they absolutely LOVE. They are woodworking and making swords, all kinds of boy things. Next week they are going tubing. It will be the boys first time tubing, I hope they like it!

Wednesday we were at the dentist again but this time for all our cleanings.

Thursday morning was my Coffee Break Bible Study. We are doing a Beth Moore Study which is AMAZING. It is called "Believing God"- not believing in Him but believing Him. It is taking me to a whole nother level in my relationship with God.

More WA Wildlife

We absolutely love where we live, even though we wish the sun would shine more!

The other night Darrick was taking Oliver for a walk. When he looked up there were 2 Deer standing right in front of him. He hurried home and got the camera and they were still there.

In Homeschooling we have been studying about birds so naturally we have been noticing them more. We made a bird feeder and have been putting out nuts and oranges.

One day we saw a big gray squirrel sitting on out deck eating the nuts. Today we were able to see 4 of the most beautiful Stellar Jays on our deck eating the nuts. We were so excited to see them because my mom had sent us some "Birds and Blooms" magazines, since she knew we were studying birds. In one of the magazines was an article on Stellar Jays and then to see them in our backyard was so cool! It is fun to hear the boys starting to identify birds.

Then later on today Jacob spotted a Woodpecker pecking on a tree on our back yard! I love when learning comes to life!!!

The Stellar Jay was the most beautiful deep blue and had cool patterns on his feathers.

Fingerprinting

Yesterday we went to get our Fingerprints done. There is really nothing to it. It took more time to drive to the office then it did to do the actual fingerprinting. It is all electronic.

The kids were with us and waited very patiently.

When we walked out of the office, Naomi turned to Darrick and I and asked , "Where is my new brother and sister?" I guess she thought that after our fingerprints we would get them...

Our homestudy is rescheduled for Friday. So today we spent time switching the kids rooms. Naomi was in the bigger room so we wanted the boys to be in there and the girls in the smaller room. It is exciting to see changes and to know our new children will be coming.

The Next Step

Hi Everyone!

We had a wonderful week together bonding as a family. To fill our time we did a lot of reading, we played board games, did puzzles and taught the boys how to play UNO. It was a big hit and they asked to play it every night!

Last week things started moving with our adoption and we have some appointments set for this coming week. We started our background checks and have appointments to get our fingerprinting done on Tuesday the 12th.

We have also been assigned a case worker, her name is Carol, and we will be having our first Home Study visit with her on Thursday at noon. This visit will be at our home.

I remember that when we had our Home Study done for Naomi's adoption, we were really nervous. This time we feel much more peaceful and calm. We are actually looking forward to it!

We have started praying as a family, "for our brother and sister", at every meal and bedtimes. The kids always pray for them to be safe.

Precious.

Happy 2010!

I am really looking forward to 2010. 2009 was a year of a lot of change and adjustments for us.

By the time 2009 rolled around Naomi had been with us only about 6 short weeks. We spent new years in downtown Honolulu with the Gonzales family playing Wii and watching the fireworks.

From Jannuary-June we soaked up as much of the island as we could and played in the beautiful ocean for hours.

My girlfriends, who I miss dearly, gave me the most wonderful going away dinner in June. Everyone looked so beautiful, the sunset was gorgeous and the food delicious. They said so many nice things about me and lots of tears were shed. It is a time I will never forget!

We left Hawaii in June, just the kids and I, right after the boys got out of school to spend the summer in California with my family. Darrick stayed back in Hawaii, finishing his sea time on the USS Lake Erie.

Darrick joined us in August and then we took an awesome road trip with my side of the family to Canada for my brother Sam's wedding.

In September, Darrick packed up our minivan, and we drove to Washington. We stopped and saw the Sytsma and Flint families and had a great time in the Redwoods.

We arrived in Marysville, WA our new home and moved into the house we are renting. Once the movers came all the unpacking began.

I started Homeschooling and we are seeing as much of Washington as we can. Our bodies are adjusting to the new climate.

In November we celebrated Naomi's 1 year adoption anniversary and added Oliver to our family. We adopted Oliver from the Everett Animal Shelter. We celebrated Thanksgiving with our new friends from Africa and began the countdown to Christmas.

In December we took our PRIDE classes to start the ball rolling for our next adoption journey and we chose our adoption agency, UJIMA.

Which leads us today. January 1, 2010! I approach this year with great excitement. In anticipation of our family growing from 5 members to 7 I have been reading a lot about BIG families and how they function well. The best book I read was "Table for Eight-Raising a large family in small-family world" by Meagan Francis. The first key is organization. So Darrick and I spent the last few days giving the house a complete overhaul. The next step is scheduling and adding some organization tools.

One of the best tools we took away from Hawaii was something our church, Hope Chapel West Oahu, taught us. That is to fast at the start of each new year. We will be starting tomorrow. Darrick and I are doing the Daniel Fast and our whole family is "fasting" from electronics for a week. No TV, Internet, email, computer or DS. So if you need to get a hold of us call us on our cell phones because we will not check our email until next Friday.

We hope everyone has a great 2010!