All Done!

Today is a very exciting day for our family!  Today we turned in the last of our paper work for our adoption!

The last few items we had to turn in were

• Darrick's TB test results
• Our CPR recertification
• A photo collage of our family

It has been 4 years since we felt God calling us to adopt again and it has really been a journey.  I cannot believe that we are finally at this point.

Once our home study is finalized and  approved we will be ready to be matched with our daughter.

How long will it be?  Only God truly knows.  We just  know that she is out there, waiting for her forever family!

Last Visit

On Thursday we had our last home study visit with our social worker!  First we went over 2 forms we still need to fill out, and we need to find and make a copy of Naomi's adoption decree. We have our CPR refresher course scheduled and our last set of fingerprints are going to be done this Thursday.  She said all our referral letters came in (and they were great).

We need to make an 8.5x11 collage of pictures of our family to be presented with our home study to social workers.  We also need to come up with a list of 10 things that we would want to know about a child and we need to help the kids come up with a list of 10 things that they would want to know about a potential sibling.  We really appreciate how well our social worker has been including our kids in this process. 

Then it was time for our final home inspection.  The only thing that we did not have was the proper weight of fire extinguisher.  We had a 2.5 lb and we need a 5 lb.  On our initial walk through inspection she gave us two things that we needed to do. 

One was that we needed a curtain to hang to give Naomi's room privacy.  I guess her room upstairs is more of a loft area then an actual bedroom because she has a doorway but no door.  I wanted to try my hand at making a curtain now that I have my sewing machine.  It was pretty easy, just straight lines and I loved how it turned out.  I did not use a pattern, I just made it up.

The second thing that we needed to do was to put  locks on the attic doors that are in Naomi's room.  The locks are to prevent a child from opening the doors and getting in the attic crawl space.  We have never had any of the kids even try to do that but things are pretty strict when you are dealing with adopting a child.

The next step is for our social worker to write our home study and then it needs to be approved.  Every Thursday our social worker attends a meeting with lots of other social workers, they are located in a different county each time, where they are presented with profiles of children who need to be adopted.  She told us that she is going to actively start searching for us!  We can hardly contain our excitement.

Adoption

I do not watch a lot of TV personally but when I see something about Adoption it totally sucks me in.  I saw a commercial for a show called "The Little Couple" and knew I had to tune in.  I had heard of their show before but had never watched it.  It is on TLC.  The couple, Bill and Jen, are little people and have been trying to have a family through many avenues and are blessed to now be adopting.

Well on the last episode they traveled to China to meet their new 3 year old son and bring him home-he is also a little person.

Being an adoptive parent myself I really appreciated how they portrayed adoption.  Bill and Jen had all the emotions I think most adoptive parents to be have.

But a lot of times on TV adoption stories are of infants and so once the new parents are handed their precious bundle it is euphoric.  Well the Little Couples new son is 3 and they did not edit out the hard time they had when they first met each other. He was crying and did not want to go to them, one time he even tried to hit them.  He clung to his caregivers not wanting to go to these strangers.

Bill and Jen were amazing.  As much as they wanted to just grab their son and love on him, they didn't.  They did not force themselves on him and let it happen in its own time.  I am definitely going to be watching the rest of the season to see their adventures as a new family.

When we adopted Naomi she was 2 years old.  When we got to the orphanage it was lunch time.  When it was time for us to meet she was taken away from her lunch and escorted into the room.

All I wanted to do was hold her and kiss her but she was unsure.  I offered her a doll and she took it but she did not come to me.  As a mom, who had been waiting months, to hold my little girl, it was painful but I understood.  I was a stranger to her.

But that moment she was finally placed in my lap, because she did not come on her own, was like giving birth.  But if you look at her face it is blank.  This picture truly shows what it can be like to adopt an older child and the varied range of emotions.

This picture was taken much later in the day, it is our first kiss, and she is starting to relax.  Naomi did not talk to me for a whole week-she said nothing.  At night when it was time to go to bed she would hit me.  It was hard but so so worth it.

Art Therapy

 Four years ago we turned to Bethany for help.  You can read more about it here.   We have been attending a Parent Support Group for 4 years now.  While the parents meet with our beloved therapist Amy, the kids meet with two other therapists.  The kids will work on different things.  But for the last few months they have worked on Art Therapy.  Then last meeting they displayed all their art and put on an Art Show for the parents.  Naomi attended all the sessions and the boys attended some.  Enjoy!

Naomi-Happy-a vase with flowers and birds

Jacob-Angry face, Happy face

Naomi-Sadness-Jesus' cross

Jacob-surprised face

Naomi-feeling crazy

Jacob-joyful

Micah-he said he was just painting an elephant...middle schoolers....

Naomi-Apple with a worm in it

Naomi-calm

Jacob-feeling strange

Micah-I just painted circles...

Naomi-double dip feelings and the red one looks mad

Naomi-Excited-Christmas presents on Christmas morning

Naomi-a duck looking at its reflection in the lake

Origami-penguin and swan

Penguin

The kids

Naomi and Nene-the first two original members of the group

Homestudy Visit #2

Yesterday we  had our second home study visit.  We went over forms and making sure we have them all completed. YAHOO! We signed papers to send off our background checks to Hawaii and talked about signing up for a CPR class.

This visit the kids were there so the social worker got to meet and interact with them.  She spent an hour with us, asking questions and taking notes.  It is strange when someone says tell me about your family.  It took the kids a bit to warm up but by the end they were talking like crazy.  And yippie no one said anything embarrassing!

Next visit is going to be the home inspection part of the home study.

Yard Sale #3

Today we had out third Fundraising Yard Sale to raise money for our adoption.  We put some stuff out to be sold but most of the items we sold today were donated to us.  It is the first beautiful warm weekend we have had this spring so we knew it was time to have the sale.  We had quite a few people come and God blessed us with a total of $815.00!  There were no set prices so we just asked that people give what they wanted.

Fingerprints

Yesterday Darrick and I went to the Police Station to get our fingerprints done, another step in the adoption process.  Since it was in the middle of the day, it was not busy and we did not have to wait very long. 

Darrick went first and the woman said his hands were way too dry.  No surprise there-he is like a lizard!  She gave him lotion to rub on his hands and it soaked in immediately.  She also recommended that he try Udder Cream.  Does anyone use this or have any experience with it?

Then it was my turn.  I have never had a problem when I have gotten my fingerprints done before.  She tried 3 times on each finger!  Every time she did a finger the machine would go "beep beep beep" meaning it was not a good print.  She had to over ride it after the third try and make the machine accept the print.  She even gave me a different hand cream to try to plump my fingers up.  She said it could also be from a lot of housework and dishes and that my prints may be rejected...

So now we need to get a money order and send them off and we will see what happens!

Making Hard Choices

I am very passionate about being a mom.  It is not a task I take lightly.  If I look at myself honestly, some days I am an awesome mom and some days I am a not so awesome mom.

I became a mom 12 years ago with the birth of our first born son.  Then we lost a child through a miscarriage, which brought me heartache like I had never known.  Then we were blessed with our second born.  The third time I became a mom was through adoption.  It has tested my skills as a mom and showed me sides of myself I never knew existed-good and bad.  Now I am hoping to become a mom a fourth time, to a child out there waiting to be adopted.

I have grown so much as a mom in those 12 years, it amazes me.  But what amazes me more is how much I am still growing and changing.  God is so patient and gracious and has guided me and shaped me through parenting my children.

And sometimes we just have to make hard choices.  The past year God has really been stretching me and it has been very uncomfortable.  I have cried and fought Him and even said "No!".  But then I am humbly reminded that these are not my children but His.

Right now we are having to make a hard choice.  Four years ago when we moved from Hawaii to Washington, God called me to home school the boys.  I was dead set against it but God softened my heart and I followed (dragging my heels at times).  But I am the first to say I was wrong.  I fell in love with it and wished we had done it sooner.  I became 100% pro home school!

Most of you know, but if you don't, when our daughter turned three, we moved to Washington and not long after that Darrick was deployed for 13 months.  These events triggered memories of her abusive past and it came out in violent rages, fits and abuse.  Only by the grace of God, amazing counselors at Bethany, and time (3 years) were we able to work through it.  We are no way out of the woods, but she is a child of God and He is healing her and we are loving her and supporting her along the way.

But I was worried...how am I going to home school this child?  By herself would be challenge enough, but with 2 other kids?  I struggled...we are a home schooling family...this is what God has called us to...this is what we do...but deep in my soul I was conflicted.

One of my closest friends, invited me to attend an adoptive parents conference called Refresh.  It was there that I first heard of Lisa Qualls.  She spoke directly to my inner thoughts and I couldn't help but weep.  My friend put her arms around me, knowing my conflict and hearing the words being spoken.  They were meant for me.  Lisa had birth children and adopted children. Some she home schooled and some went to traditional school...and it was ok to do different things for different kids.  I spoke with her afterwards and told her how much her words meant to me.  (I was able to reconnect with her at this years Refresh conference and give her an update).

It took a long while for me to come to peace with it but this school year our daughter started kindergarten at the local public school and she is doing AMAZING! It has been so good for all of us.  And I thought that was that, the boys are home schooled, our daughter goes to school, we're good...until recently...

 In December I became really sick and home schooling has become a challenge.  Our oldest is motivated and independent, easy.  Our second-not so much-by no fault of his own, just different personalities.  In light of recent health news and a possible surgery, Darrick and I knew we had a hard choice to make.  I met God on the wrestling mat and we have been going at it.  Why do I think I know what is best?  Pride, selfishness, stubbornness...I want to home school him, but God is saying not right now.  How can I accept that and deal with it?  Well, all I can say, through tears as I write this, I AM TRYING.

I finally went to my husband and asked him, as head of our family, if this is what he believes God wants us to do and he said Yes.  It was at that moment I decided to let go and trust him and God.

So tomorrow morning at 9:15 am our guy starts 4th grade and I will be walking him to school in faith, that my God loves me and my son more than I know.

Let the Paperwork Begin!

Adoption Update

It seems like since 2010 we have been riding on an adoption roller coaster.  We got on the ride in 2010, thinking we knew the destination: adoption of a child from the WA foster care system.  Due to many unforeseen circumstances that adoption never came to be.  I say unforeseen but that was on our part, God knew.  After this we were in a period of waiting.  We were not sure which way to go.

In 2012, we were contacted by the agency that guided us through Naomi's adoption.  They were looking for families to relaunch adoptions in her country.  After about 21 successful adoptions that country was closed.  We were so excited and said yes right away.  We have been working toward this adoption and raising money.

But last week we got an update about the opening of the program that changed our minds.  The program has not reopened.  They are hopeful it will, but they cannot guarantee when.  We felt discouraged but we understood.  We have worked with this country and are aware of the way things progress.

After prayers, talks and advice we felt that we needed to withdraw from the program.  We wrote the agency and made it official.

But we do feel God leading us another way.  As of today our formal application has been accepted by Bethany and we are now officially in the process to adopt 1 or 2 kids from the foster care system.  The reason we say 1 or 2 because we are looking for a little girl but we are open to a sibling group.

The cost is about $10,000 so all the money we have already raised will be applied to this adoption.  We have had a great relationship with Bethany for a few years and the local staff that works with our family.  We are very excited to work with them as God leads our family.

Our next step is the Home study process.  Thankfully it looks like some of the classes we already took a few years back will transfer to this adoption and save us some time.  We look forward to sharing our journey with you!